5 forces of human relations
When I was young and training as a researcher at graduate school, I was looking forward to attending a famous lecture “5 forces of human relations” given by a certain professor.
The professor’s lecture was a lecture that explained difficult specialized knowledge in an easy-to-understand manner, often using jokes. During his entertaining lectures, the professor often digressed from his lectures to share his life lessons, and one day, in a friendly atmosphere, he said:
“You guys, even if you learn this kind of specialized knowledge, it won’t be of any use in the real world. When you go out into the real world, relationships will be everything.”
Upon hearing these words, the young and inexperienced writer at the time wondered what they meant. I took it lightly and thought to myself, “That may be true, but Professor, please continue with your lecture.”
However, many years later, when I entered the real world, I learned that these words were a heavy truth.
Human Relationship Power: The Power of Communicating
Over the next 40 years, I have walked the path of management and management in the business world, and I have seen many people who, as the professor said, are faced with “work walls” and “growth walls” in the real world. Without exception, all of them were people with poor interpersonal skills.
So, what exactly is “human relationship power”?
Of course, many books could be written discussing this topic, but here I will describe the “5 Human Relationship Powers” based on my experience. The author believes that acquiring the following “five skills” is essential to improving interpersonal relationships.
The first is “ability to communicate face-to-face.” This is the power of being able to have a dialogue “directly” with the other person’s heart. In reality, relationships between people go awry when we view the other person with prejudice and judgment, thinking, “That person is who I am anyway.” However, when you face the other person’s feelings head-on, without prejudice or preconceptions, your relationships will mysteriously improve.
The second is “nonverbal communication skills.” This is the power of being able to listen to the “silent voice” of the other person. Inside everyone’s heart, there are hidden “true feelings” and “true feelings” that cannot be expressed through words, but if we have the sensitivity to pay attention to the “voiceless voice” that lies deep within their facial expressions, eyes, and gestures, Human relationships always move in a positive direction.
The third is “ability to accept tasks.” This is the ability to “take on” the problems in front of you as challenges for your personal growth. Conversely, people who always blame others for problems that occur will not be able to grow, and in many cases will damage their relationships with those around them.
The fourth is “power of reconciliation action.” This is the power of being able to open your heart and make peace with someone with whom you have become emotionally distant. True interpersonal skills are not the ability to never run into people. Even if we conflict, we have the power to reconcile with a flexible heart. Of course, it is not easy to open up and talk to the other person, but when you are able to do this, you often find that your relationship with the other person is deeper than before.
The Private Reflection Technique: 5 forces of human relations
The fifth is “ego management ability”. This is the power of being able to see the movements of the “small ego” within one’s own mind. People who are bad at interpersonal relationships often find themselves in a state of not being able to see themselves, but that “self” is nothing but their “ego.”
This “ego” often makes troublesome moves in interpersonal relationships, but we cannot throw it away or eliminate it. The only thing you can do is to “just stare at it,” and then, miraculously, the troublesome movements of the ego subside. And his interpersonal relationships, which had been bothering him, started to improve.
The “five strengths” mentioned above are the essence of interpersonal relationships that the author has learned through experience in the real world for many years. We provide students with a curriculum to acquire these “five skills” before entering the real world. This is called the “Private Reflection Technique,” and after students have completed a team activity, each student looks back on their own mental movements and performs self-reflection from these five perspectives.
What I was pleasantly surprised about in this curriculum was that the young students, who had not lost their freshness of mind, honestly practiced this reflection, and sometimes expressed deep introspection to the point of being impressed. It is. Even after students have mastered this “reflection technique,” they continue to examine their own hearts, continue self-reflection, and aim for growth, even when they are worried about their daily relationships in the workplace. I will continue to move forward.
Beyond that path lies the world of “human power.” Their backs are shining as they walk down that path.
Hiroshi Tasaka◎ Graduated from the University of Tokyo. Doctor of engineering. He served as a researcher at the Battelle Memorial Institute in the United States and as a director at the Japan Research Institute, and is currently president of 21st Century Academy. He is a professor emeritus at Tama University Graduate School. He is a former member of the World Economic Forum (Davos) Expert Group. President Tasaka Juku, where 8,300 managers and leaders from all over the country gather. He has written over 100 books, including “Speaking about the future of humanity” and “Refining your knowledge.”